Well, ladies and gentlemen, meet the Harriet Carter. It is filled with nothing but the worst sort of junk and hokum, a few of my favourites I'll show below.
If you want your Christmas tree to be scary, how about the Heaven Ornament? Inscribed with a message from the dead, it reads:
I love you all dearly
Now don't shed a tear
I'm spending my Christmas
With Jesus this year.
Yeah, that's more than just a little creepy.
The Fleece Ear Band, so if you absolutely insist on wearing a cap in the winter, you can look like a tool doing so!
Doesn't he look happy to get his hair cut? And on the subject of hair cutting, why not try the Hair Cutting Comb? IT'S JUST RAZORBLADE STRAPPED TO A COMB! THAT'S NOT EVEN AN INVENTION!
Probably the best copy in the entire site is for the "Fanny" Bank. Their quote marks not mine. This is a coin bank that looks like a butt, and farts whenever you put money in it. However, they can't say this, as it might offend the delicate sensibilites of their readers. So, instead, I present this magnificent piece of writing:
"Fanny” bank makes saving money a real GAS! Just drop a coin in the strategically-placed slot of this tushy-shaped bank and listen as it lets out the loudest rip you've ever heard. Add more loot, hear more toot! Up to six flatulent sound effects, guaranteed to make you laugh your “assets” off! Coins remove easily when bank is full. 6" H x 6". Uses 3 AA batteries (not incl.).
If you happen to have some ailment, and don't trust those nasty scientists to help you, then how about using the magic of magnets? You can use it to quite smoking, via two "bio-magnets" that pinch your ears, and produce "good" endorphins.
And what's with all the dickeys? I wasn't even aware dickeys were used any more, let alone still being manufactured.
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