Tupenny VP analysis

Well, both Obama and McCain have announced their VPs, and here's my vaguely uninformed opinion of them both!

First, batting for all that is good and right in the world...

JOE BIDEN
Pros:
1) He's an attack dog. It'll be his job to rip the Republicans a new one during debate. And it's something he's done well in the past and seems to enjoy doing.
2) Has a strong labour union background
3) Voted against FISA and for Net Neutrality
4) Old white man.
Cons:
1) He's a major supported of invading Iraq and the Patriot Act.
2) He's wants to watch and control what you do with your computer.
3) Sponsored the RAVE act, which allows for glow sticks to be considered drug paraphernalia.
4) Old white man

Secondly, for evil and damnation...

SARAH PALIN
Pros:
1) Young woman candidate, full of Republican morals
2) Negates Biden's attack dog skills, because if he goes after he, he'll be seen as a bully
3) VPILF
Cons:
1) McCain can't question Obama's experience as the person second in line for the Presidency would actually be LESS experienced than Obama, younger, having served for less time, and over a less populated jurisdiction
2) Rabidly pro-life, anti-gay-marriage, anti-environment, creationist
3) She's under investigation for abusing her power by firing a Public Safety Commissioner who refused to axe a state trooper. A trooper who had just gone through a bitter divorce with her sister...


My thoughts? While Palin will undoubtedly curb some of Biden's advantages, her inexperience puts pause to the Republican's big tactic of questioning Obama's leadership experience. After all, if McCain one, he'd be an aged and ailing president with a history of cancer. And she'd be next in line. She's also being used to try and grab some of H. Clinton's voters who are still bitter about the Obama nomination, but I think Angry Mouse from the Daily Kos responded to that far more eloquently than I.

I'm just terrified of Biden taking over from Obama if something should happen to him. He's Hawkish and want to control the internet.

So, I'll end in a quote of Warren Ellis' masterpiece Transmetropolitan

The fix is in. It remains only to be seen what it's been traded for. To get to this stage, anyone wanting to be candidate has had to learn to enjoy the special flavor of pressure-group dick. The question is: will the Smiler stagger on stage with lungs half full of steaming lobbyist semen? Or will he merely be licking his lips?

AC out

Kim Komando misses the point.

So, remember that post I made the other week about Games As Art?

And remember that beautiful little game I linked to, Passage?

How would you like to see someone butcher a description of it? Go go Kim Komando! Seriously, wow, that's really, really crappy writing. And completely soulless. And a horrific summary of the game.

This is the same woman who believes that you can get high off of music. (See here for the best response around)

I think I'll have to start a weekly column "Kim Komando misses the point". Because she always does.

Olympics

I've been boycotting the Olympics for two reasons, firstly the abysmal behaviour of China in the lead up to the games. Bulldozing of poor housing without providing alternatives, crackdowns on protest groups, reinforcing the great firewall, etc.

If only to confirm my feelings about the whole event, this has turned into one of the most downright duplicitous Olympics that I'm aware of.

Shall we attempt to list the crazy shit from The Middle Kingdom ?

1:Ethnic Tibetans have been banned from working in Beijing for the duration

2:During the opening ceremony, the song "Ode to the Motherland" was actually lipsynched, because the singer wasn't pretty enough

3:During the same ceremony, and to allay fears about China's treatment of its minorities, the 56 non-Han ethnicities were presented. And all were played by Han children.

4:The footprints during the ceremony were faked in the broadcast This one doesn't bug me too much. They were actually set off, it was just deemed to dangerous for the pilots to be able to actually shoot, so a pre-creation was broadcast instead.

5:One of China's gold medal gymnasts may only be 13, three years younger than the minimum age for the Olympics

6:One of the worlds foremost Chinese classical dancers was permanently paralysed from the waist down after part of the set collapsed on her during rehearsal for the Opening Ceremony. The entire thing was hushed up for weeks.

So, yeah. Go China! Woohoo!

Found Poetry

Usually, what little spam makes its way into my inbox (thanks Google, you rock!) is trying to sell something. Blind links, phishing schemes, anti-depressants, that sort of junk. But last week, I received an email of poetic beauty, that I shall now quote in full.

bicep grandiloquent zazen? ammoniac, thirsty frenchman.
compton vigil elliot ammoniac hovel hovel, plagiarist
norm crucify singsong centipede acts.

confluent h thimble

excite chutney hovel? farce, h confluent.
acts bicep singsong smaller excite intuitive, stoneware
mesa return farce farce norm.

singsong elliot acts

bridgeable compton rote? bloodline, osteopathic grandiloquent.

acts bloodline.

That's it. No links, no nothing. And I'm taking Confluent H Thimble as a pen name.

Uh oh...

In the wake of the deaths of Bernie Mac and then Isaac Hayes...






















Ruh Roh, Shaggy!

Overly Complicated Invention #413

Non-Newtonian Bullets.

First, an introduction. Non-Newtonian fluids are liquids that behave in a very peculiar way. Namely, they have non-constant viscosity.

One of the most famous examples of this is Oobleck, a mixture of corn starch and water (dry it at home!). Oobleck gets harder the more force is applied. So if you stab it or slap it, it becomes rigid, but if the force is gentle you can sink your hand in it. For instance, you can run across it if you go fast enough. Or, if pressure keeps being applied, it will build up. Kinda.

So, lets have a thought experiment.

What would happen if a burst of Oobleck was shot at high speed from a pressurised device? The initial decompression would harden the rear of the shot of the liquid, expelling it from the barrel, at which point it would probably return to liquid state. However, when hitting the target, it will re-harden in an unpredictable shape, and then re-liquefy when its transferred the kinetic energy.

Theoretically, this leads to strange shaped bullet wounds, and un-traceable ammunition.

And I, of course, am talking out my arse as I know nothing about physics. Still, it's an intriguing thought...

Offensive jokes that I made up

"Say Jesus, how big was that fish you almost caught?"









































Yeah, I know, I'm going to hell.

Rage

So, yeah, RAAAAAGE!

Without cause nor suspicion, they're allowed to take your laptop for indefinite amounts of time and share the data as they please.

Goddamn, why does America have to have all the opportunities that I crave combined with bullshit like this? Why can't all the technology and press jobs be in Norway or somewhere awesome and liberal?

Son of a bitch.